Then and Now

I recently had someone send me a photo. It took me a second to recognize the girl in the photo. She was pale, with dark hair and seemed to be a little timid, and a lot curious.

The subject in question, was me. As some of you might know, long before I ever found my “kink home” with Wicked Eden I worked as a fetish model and porn star under the name Raina Verene. I shot for a plethora of different websites – both vanilla and kinky – and had a blast doing it.

The random appearance of this photo got me thinking about then, now, and the progression in between.

When I was just beginning to explore my interests in BDSM, I first self-identified as a submissive. The majority of my relationships involved in D/s in one manner or another – some were very casual, and others were full out 24/7 dynamics. I totally embraced my role as a bottom, never thought twice about it and had some excellent (and, sometimes, not so excellent) experiences. At the time, it never occurred to me that I should ever try topping someone, or that I would ever enjoy it in any capacity.

That obviously has changed. I’ve had more than one boy tell me that they can’t imagine I ever had a submissive bone in my body (this never fails to amuse me).

While my days in service have long since passed , I’m still extraordinarily grateful and pleased with my experiences as a bottom/slave/submissive. My time in that role has given the ability to understand the psychology behind submission – what it means on different levels, and all the little details that make a scene both memorable and meaningful. It allows me the understanding and foresight to navigate my way through a bottom’s head and create an amazing catharsis for us both.

I truly believe that without these experiences, I would never have become as good a top as I am today – because, let’s face it; I’m freakishly awesome 😉


Me, as Raina Verene, just starting my career on’s Public disgrace



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This entry was posted on Monday, January 24th, 2011 at 10:21 pm and is filed under Photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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