Anal Play for Submissives: Part 2 – Self Play

Anal play is one of the areas that is most comfortable when it begins with self-play. Self-play can assist in warming up the muscles and getting comfortable with the range of sensations. Before we begin, here is some required reading to familiarize yourself with what you’re about to work with.

Let’s get started…

From Rotten.com:

“To penetrate someone anally is itself a novel field of exploration. The sensations of entering a clean yet slippery (lubed) rectum is remarkably similar to entering a clean yet slippery vagina — warm, soft, and equipped with soft, erotically sensitive skin and firm, responsive muscle tissue. Some women and some bi/homosexual men find a special emotional thrill in being able to penetrate their male partner. In addition to the unconscious power issues of who is penetrated by whom, there is the sensual experience of being inside the beloved, of entering into his body — in a place that is tender and vulnerable, soft.”

Yes… yes it is. One of the reason I love to use a strap-on! But I digress. Let’s continue.

“Naturally, much anal sex play occurs in conjunction with genital sex play, expanding the range of sensation, physically as well as emotionally. The simple fact is that the anus, much maligned in various cultures, is rich with nerve endings and extremely capable of sensual stimulation. Hence, once people get interested in anal play, they often become eager to try a wide variety of dildos and other anal toys, in an array of textures, shapes, and sizes — with and without vibration. In short, a whole new intriguing world of pleasure has opened for them.

And yet, many people who experiment with anal sex never uncover this rich potential. The situation is similar to a virgin girl who, experiencing discomfort after her first time or two of vaginal penetration, gives up on it entirely convinced it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Unfortunately many “anal virgins” are introduced to anal play by someone as inexperienced as they themselves are, some equally ignorant of the important elements of successful anal sex.”

From one of my favorite sites, MedicalToys.com:

“Insertion Techniques

If there’s going to be intercourse or insertion of objects or a hand or whatever, then we’re getting into the rectum. The rectum is not a straight tube. It’s not the same in everyone – obviously, everyone’s a little different on everything – but generally it takes two major curves along its length. There’s the descending colon, then there’s that S-shaped sigmoid colon just up above the rectum, and then the anal opening. A muscle called the pubo-rectal sling anchors to the pubic bone on one side, goes around and wraps behind the back of the rectum, and comes back and anchors on the pubic bone in the front and the other side. It supports the rectum, and its other function is that it’s responsible for the majority of our ability to hold back having a bowel movement even if we need to. It’s not mainly the sphincters that do that job; it’s mainly the job of the pubo-rectal sling, but the pubo-rectal sling can also become chronically tense.

As far as inserting an object or a penis into the rectum, if done so at a wrong angle it will run into the wall just before the first rectal curve, and you’re going to get a lot of pain. Some people try anal sex experimentally without learning about it first; they’ll identify the pain of trying to go through the constricted sphincters (and that’s pretty excruciating), but some will say that after they learned how to relax the sphincters they still feel a pain deeper inside – and that’s it. That’s what it is in almost every case, and this problem is exaggerated when you have excess tension in that pubo-rectal sling.

For anal play in general just try this basic approach: awareness, breathing, touch, looking, gentle finger insertion, and self-exploration, is a wonderful process for those who are recovering or even trying to recover from anal medical problems or surgeries, start with gentle external massage in warm tubs of water.”

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Now that you have a good handle on what anal stimulation IS and how it might feel, here is a basic recipe for beginning anal masturbation.

What you need:

Lubricant (the gel kind is best for this, such as KY, and make sure it’s water-based!)
Toys of gradually increasing sizes
Towel and baby wipes
A mirror if you’re particularly enthusiastic

Instructions

1. To begin, lie on your back or squat down on your heels. Either position will work, but the less flexible submissive may find squatting much easier. Using just your fingers, apply the lubricant to the exterior of your opening. Pay attention to the sensations– this outside area is very sensitive and stimulating it can be extremely pleasurable. Then, very slowly, insert a finger. Pay attention to the angle and how roughly you push in. You don’t want to go from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds.

Once you’ve gotten one finger in, you can gradually try to increase it to two. Move your fingers slowly and rhythmically in and out. For male submissives, at this point you can use your thumb or other hand to press against your prostate from the outside. For females, I recommend using slowly applying stimulation to your clitoris. You can also graduate to a toy at this point. I recommend a small vibrator or small butt plug. Again, slowly and steadily. Don’t jab or slam it in, no matter how many times you’ve fantasized about someone like me doing that to you. ;)

Once your ass starts to relax and this motion begins to feel very pleasurable, then you can increase your tempo and the size of your toys. The length of time it may take to get to this point will vary for everyone, but novices should be prepared to spend 10-20 minutes working up to a medium-sized toy.

Now that you’ve got a good motion going, add in the stroke. Whether it’s your cock or your clit, now is the time to finish it off. Keep your strokes even in your ass and don’t get too vigorous when getting near to climax or you’ll be sorry when you’re done! Once you explode in bliss, make sure you clean up thoroughly.

Anal toys MUST be washed with hot water and antibacterial soap. I recommend basic dish soap and not hand soap as most hand soap leaves a film on anal toys. Let your toys air dry before storing them away. NEVER put your toys away dirty.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 at 5:07 pm and is filed under BDSM & Fetish, Domina Snow. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

One Response to “Anal Play for Submissives: Part 2 – Self Play”

  1. BJ Says:
    March 25th, 2010 at 8:45 am

    I find everything you have written to be true so far with my little experience. My questions are simple. Once I start using a butt plug, do I leave it in or to I take it in and out as a stroke myself? Also I have had my wife put on a strap on and do me that way before but she says that she is uncomfortabel with doing me anally. She feel that it is homosexual like for me to want this. How can I make this very pleasurable experience for me not so taboo for her to do? Please e-mai me back.
    P.S. I am a big fan of your site but have not been able to hook up with you or one of your talented staff. I hope to be able to soon!